Every month I pay a $2000 Visa bill without question. How come I charge $32 I get told I have to “discuss it first”. Double standard?

When she is sick, I take care of her. When I’m sick she gets mad and makes me sleep on the couch

I can’t hardly wait for the day when I don’t have to deal with you anymore.

You are going to die alone; I’m going to make sure of it …

If you want to goto the doctor and have your vocal cords removed so you don’t talk anymore, I’ll drive you …

Money isn’t the reason we keep you around, it just makes it easier.

Whenever she speaks to me, why is every word laced with venom?

Why would I want to celebrate 20 years of hell?

When you shop alone all the time, why does it seem only couples shop?

Why am I rushing to get home? Nobody will notice I’m not back. That’s right, I got the groceries!